Stars, crickets, and frogs

Sometimes it’s the tiniest things that can set the world right.

I had a plan tonight. Was going to blow through Mystic on my way back from Newport and put in another half day’s work this evening, stopping to run at Bluff Point. Got held up in Newport for a little longer than planned. Called the wife; she mentioned that the plumber was coming tomorrow to hook up the dishwasher; well, provided the dishwasher was upstairs. Swung by the house, stopped for dinner, and my motivation for heading to Waterford vanished. Decided to take a rest day. Moved the washer back upstairs. Moved the stove to the front door, and was surprised when the neighbor and a friend of his asked if we needed help. The neighbor’s a good guy; it’s just we don’t talk much. I accepted. We got the stove into the living room (electrician isn’t due until Thursday). Showed him around; he was impressed with what we’ve done with the place. Blew off work, bathed the kids, teeth, stories, kisses.

I was taking the trash to the curb when my “Motivation” post really sunk in. Funny how the truth’s locked up in our subconscious. Funny how clearly we can hear the quiet, clear little voice. Even funnier (in the tragic, not the “ha ha” comic way) how frequently we don’t listen to the quiet, clear little voice. I imagine it sounds much like my wife…

It is about the fight. Am I Achilles, nursing petty grievances back among the long, black ships pulled up on the sand? Or am I Diomedes, with the grey veil of perception pulled back, seeing the world as it is? Pulled on my gleaming armour, or, in my case, a certain pair of shiny, blue shoes (and a spiffy, new reflective armband).

And easy as that, life was good.

There’s 2 or 3 streetlights burned out on the 2-lane just down the subdivision street from the house. So there’s about a half-mile stretch, through the woods, that now completely lacks light. Which makes it really, really dark. I ran down the middle of the street, ears tuned, knees bent to better make up for un-even pavement. Up and over the “wall”, the stretch of 30 degree climb just after the first mile. Felt good.

The run in the darkness kind of motivated me. So instead of turning around at about 2 miles, I figured I’d try to loop back to the house.I made a conscious decision to not let my legs run – they felt good and really wanted to keep going, down to River Road, but I had to stifle such talk in favor of execution.

At the top of the hill, about mile 4.5, I started walking. Not out of pain or shortness of breath, but out of a realization that I was a bit turned around, not quite sure where I was. Figured it out. Still walked the half-mile home (RICE, billy. RICE. What rest has your ankle gotten today?)

Took the detour through the forest from the old elementary school to my house. It was beautiful and peaceful there in the woods. But I’d forgotten the extent to which woods go pitch black at night. I navigated by shuffling – as soon as I felt duff underfoot, I adjusted back to the hardpacked trail. Made it down with just a flesh wound. Skipped the road back to the house.

Here’s to tomorrow.

Motivation

Thanks, everyone, for the comments, thoughts, and encouragement after my rant yesterday. It’s appreciated.

The internet’s a funny beast. Shifts things from finely shaded to black and or white. I’ll admit, I’m struggling. And there wasn’t anything I said yesterday that I wasn’t feeling right then, at that moment.

What was completely not captured, though, was the love of the struggle. The joy in the fight.
Continue reading Motivation

Bile

Today – 3.5 easy. Was supposed to be a rest day, but I needed to run. Felt – well, it felt like a run.

RBF, can I be honest here? At this point, I’m completely racked with doubt that I’m going to be able to complete either marathon, let alone both. The pain I’ve had in the left foot has really taken a lot out of me, and the inability to stick to the long run schedule is frustrating me something fierce. The blister is just icing on the freakin’ cake. I’ve got a 20 miler scheduled this weekend; I HAVE to do it or else I might just have to hang it up. But right now I’m really, really feeling low; hating running. I hate the pain, hate the rut, hate the chafing, hate the hunger, hate the random stiffness, hate the restlessness on days I don’t run, and hate the self loathing into which I fall when I don’t run. Hate it hate it hate it. Bleh.

On the plus side – wow. Fall. I love being outside. And I love running in the fall. And, frankly, when I’m actually running, I still kind of like the running.

Four more weeks, Billy. Four more weeks.

I am, however, switching Sundays or Mondays to cycling.

Running rule number 1

1. SOCKS

Late day at the office, but my lovely, long-suffering, and completely together wife is supporting my marathon plans like a trooper. So, I stopped off on Jamestown to knock out today’s 6 miles, ’cause I’m a man, baby, not a mouse. Plus, how could I not? Browsing today showed me that one of my heroes (and you, RBF readers, are all heroes of mine) was once a mortal, too.

To say today was a perfect end to summer* would have been understatement. Unlimited visibility, perfect temperatures, light breeze. One of those days where you can’t hope for much except a winning PowerBall ticket in your pocket.
Continue reading Running rule number 1

Mice

So –

Today was one of those days when I’m happy I’m not living on a boat. Windy, choppy, intermittent rain. Bleh. Would spill coffee. Wouldn’t want to get out of bed.

But I did. Went to work. Went to go run after work.

Forgot my shoes.

D’oh.

Best laid plans, and all…

Best Laid Plans

So, if I were operating in strict accordance with schedule for the Mystic Places race, Saturday would have been a 20 miler. However, given recent foot problems, sickness, long runs missed due to travel, and a genetic disposition to cramming, I scaled back my goal for Saturday to 15 miles or so. I’d rescheduled a drill day from last weekend, and Saturday had dawned grey and gnasty, so I decided to roll the dice that the remains of Hurricane Ophelia would miss SE Connecticut, and the sun would come out in the afternoon.

Gamble paid off, and I finished up work about 2:30 or so. Headed down to Copp Family Park with the intentions of running to Bluff Point and back, and adding what I needed to hit 15. I was feeling a little sore from my first completely made week of running in about a month, but the pain quickly left, replaced with the endorphin-covered fuzz that proceeds the Runner’s High.
Continue reading Best Laid Plans

Apres le deluge

C’est Moi.

Yeah, baby. The skies opened up today. Good soaking for Southern New England; maybe now they’ll stop whining about forest fire danger. This morning was gawdawful humid and warm, this afternoon was wet, wet, wet, and this evening – magic.

Worked late ’cause I got to work late. The boy had a dentist appointment (fillings in teeth that will be gone in two years, but hopefully the decay bacteria are gone now before the new ones show up), so the baby and I stayed home this morning and slept in. Nothing better than a well rested and happy toddler. Lots and lots of open mouthed laughing. Even more slobber since he’s cutting teeth (which will likely require fillings in a couple years – note to self: be more aggressive about teaching this one to brush his teeth).
Continue reading Apres le deluge

How Billy got his Groove Back

Sorry I’ve been absent for a while – work (blah) and a trip to Houston and San Antonio for my brother-in-law’s wedding.

In any case, I’d really been kind of struggling with running prior to New Haven (About which I cannot say enough good, especially seeing a sea of smiling faces from the RBF) – mostly finding time and motivation (hey, Billy – Mystic Places is like 5 weeks away – is that motivation enough?) But seeing the rest of the gang did great stuff for my soul, and running has gotten somewhat more pleasant since.
Continue reading How Billy got his Groove Back

Hey!

So I’m beginning to wonder if maybe it’s not the shoes.

My running has been somewhat sporadic lately. I think some of it is just monthly burnout, some of it is work-related stress, and some of it is, well something else I just can’t put my finger on.

I got in my scheduled six today. It should have been a run about which I’d gush – beautiful day; warm, with a cool breeze blowing off the bay. The classic experience of rounding the point behind the NAPS building as a pair of sailboats come about, spinnakers ballooning in front of them to parallel me on the leg down to the wooden bridge. But I ended up feeling just “eh”.

Now, my left foot is acting up again. Some of it, I think, is that I slacked over the weekend. But part of me is starting to think that maybe I actually damaged something with the New Balances. I’m going to gut it out through a long run on Saturday, but if it’s still hurting Sunday, I may have to break out the bike during the week for the forseeable future, saving my foot for long runs. Darn the bad luck.

On a happier note, my run last Thursday was quite possibly the finest run ever. I extended even further the “hilly” version of my route on Jamestown Island, and dialed up the podcast from Open Source on Numbers. The sun shone, the breeze blew, and the thoughts of Chris Lydon and (be still my heart!) Douglas Hofstadter beat down on my ears.

If you’re looking for a big, thick book to stick in your bookbag to drag around and gain all sorts of intellectual whuffie, Hofstadter’s Godel, Escher, Bach – Eternal Golden Braid takes the cake. For an even bigger kick, actually break open the beast and read it. I don’t claim to understand half of what was in it, but it’s breathtaking. The deeper the ideas got, the quicker I ran. Great topic (at least for me), great guests, and a discernible chemistry between all involved.